So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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