You made me cry and you don't even care
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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