i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
