A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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