I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
