I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
