There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
