I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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