walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
