he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
