She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
