I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
