she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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