Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
