So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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