All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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