The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
