did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
