i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
