i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think a kid would responsible me up
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
