By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
