Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
