her facebook's as public as her vagina
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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