If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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