I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
