i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
