i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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