Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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