I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
