and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
