Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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