Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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