Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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