Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
third nipple confirmed
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
