Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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