So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
