I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
