i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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