I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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