Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
