Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
"it" just moved
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
