when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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