Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
