If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
