Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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