that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
