your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
only you would photoshop your dick
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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