I want to make a zoo with you.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
