how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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