you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
