I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
