But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
